SS – Unit V

PAPER XVIII: SOFT SKILLS DEVELOPMENT

UNIT IV: SKILLS FOR TEACHERS

• Empathy

• Empathy is the ability to imagine oneself in the position of another person and to feel and understand that person’s happiness and sorrows.
• The ability to understand another person’s circumstances, point of view, thoughts and feelings.   
• The four aspects of empathy:

_    self-empathy: it is mindfulness; awareness of our own internal feelings and internal state; turning your attention inwards; listening to one’s own inner feelings and experiences.

• Mirrored empathy: this is also called as emotional or affective empathy; reflecting others in ourselves and ourselves being reflected by others.
•  Cognitive empathy: perspective and role taking of others; also called as imaginative empathy.
•  Empathetic action: once connection is established, the creative action will be initiated.
• Presentation Skill  

Meaning:

• Presentation skills are the skills you need in delivering effective and engaging presentations to a variety of audiences. These skills cover a variety of areas such as the structure of your presentation, the design of your slides, the tone of your voice and the body language you convey.

How can you make a good presentation even more effective?

• Show your Passion and Connect with your Audience. …
• Focus on your Audience’s Needs. …
• Keep it Simple: Concentrate on your Core Message. …
• Smile and Make Eye Contact with your Audience. …
• Start Strongly. …
• Remember the 10-20-30 Rule for Slideshows. …
• Tell Stories.

Component Skills

• Skill of Planning and writing the presentation: understand your audience; add matter according to their taste; make it digestible; be clear and convinced of your presentation.
• Skills of using visual aids effectively: choose the visuals suiting to the content;
• Skills for overcoming presentation nerves: relax and build up your confidence
• Deliver the presentations confidently
• Answer the questions competently

Laws of Presentation

•  Keep the audience away from sleep
• Don’t repeat any gesture or body language
• Learn to be objective and be your critic
• There should be a message
• Should have a passion to do
• Get the audience to want what you have got.
• When you are presenting, you are in charge of everything
• Listening Skill

• Listening is the ability to accurately receive and interpret messages in the communication process. Listening is key to all effective communication.
• Listening: the process of receiving, constructing meaning from, and responding to spoken and/or non-verbal messages – International Listening Association
• Many successful leaders and entrepreneurs credit their success to effective listening skills. Richard Branson frequently quotes listening as one of the main factors behind the success of Virgin.
• Effective listening is a skill that underpins all positive human relationships. Spend some time thinking about and developing your listening skills – they are the building blocks of success.
• Listening is not the same as Hearing; Hearing refers to the sounds that enter your ears. It is a physical process that, provided you do not have any hearing problems, happens automatically. Listening, however, requires more than that: it requires focus and concentrated effort, both mental and sometimes physical as well.
• Adults spend an average of 70% of their time engaged in some sort of communication. Of this, research shows that an average of 45% is spent listening compared to 30% speaking, 16% reading and 9% writing. (Adler, R. et al. 2001).

Common Barriers to Listening

• Trying to listen to more than one conversation at a time
• You find the communicator attractive/unattractive
• You are not interested in the topic/issue being discussed and become bored.
• Not focusing and being easily distracted
• Feeling unwell or tired, hungry, thirsty or needing to use the toilet.
• Sympathizing rather than empathizing –
• You are prejudiced or biased by race, gender, age, religion, accent, and/or past experiences.
• Previous experiences – we are all influenced by previous experiences in life.
• Preoccupation & Having a Closed Mind

Types of Listening

• The two main types of listening – the foundations of all listening sub-types are:

Discriminative Listening: Listening to discriminate the voices or sounds like from mother to father.

Comprehensive Listening: involves understanding the message or messages that are being communicated.

• The six main types of listening most common in interpersonal communication are:

Informational Listening (Listening to Learn)

Critical Listening (Listening to Evaluate and Analyse)

Therapeutic or Empathetic Listening (Listening to Understand Feeling and Emotion)

Appreciative listening is listening for enjoyment.

Rapport Listening: When trying to build rapport with others we can engage in a type of listening that encourages the other person to trust and like us.

Selective Listening: This is a more negative type of listening; it implies that the listener is somehow biased to what they are hearing.

• Employability Skills

• Employability Skills can be defined as the transferable skills needed by an individual to make them ’employable’. Along with good technical understanding and subject knowledge, employers often outline a set of skills that they want from an employ.
• Generally the following are expected: communication, Teamwork. Problem solving. Initiative and enterprise. Planning and organising. Self-management. Learning. Technology. Dependability. Honesty. Adaptability. Flexibility.
• Perception (www.psychologydiscussion.net)

Meaning: Perception is the way in which something is regarded, understood, or interpreted; the ability to see, grasp or become aware of something through senses; the process by which people translate sensory impressions into a coherent and unified view of the world around them.

Principles of Perception

a. Proximity:

Proximity means nearness. The objects which are nearer to each other can be perceived meaningfully by grouping them. For example, the word ‘Man’, here though the letters are discrete, when grouped together gives some meaning. The stars which are nearer to each other are perceived together as groups/single figure.

b. Similarity

If there is similarity in these objects, they are grouped together and perceived, even if they are away. For example, grouping will be done according to similarity, i.e. all circles, squares and triangles are grouped separately.

c. Any stimulus which extends in the same direction or shape will be perceived as a whole Figure 3.5A and B. For example, (A) in this figure though the curved line is broken, it is perceived as a continuous line, so also straight line is not seen with semicircles but as a continuous line (B) the dots are perceived as existing in the same line of direction continuously.

d. When a stimulus is presented with gaps, the human tendency is to perceive that figure as complete one by filling the gaps psychologically. For example, in the Figure 3.6, the gaps are filled psychologically and perceived as letters M and A, circle and a rectangle.

Factors Affecting Perception: (www.psychologydiscussion.net)

Perceptual learning:

Based on past experiences or any special training that we get, every one of us learns to emphasise some sensory inputs and to ignore others. Experience is the best teacher for such perceptual skills. For example, blind people identify the people by their voice or by sounds of their footsteps.

Mental set:

Set refers to preparedness or readiness to receive some sensory input. Such expectancy keeps the individual prepared with good attention and concentration. For example, when we are expecting the arrival of a train, we listen to its horn or sound even if there is a lot of noise disturbance.

Motives and needs:

Our motives and needs will definitely influence our perception. For example, a hungry person is motivated to recognise only the food items among other articles. His attention cannot be directed towards other things until his motive is satisfied.

Cognitive styles:

People are said to differ in the ways they characteristically process the information. Every individual will have his or her own way of understanding the situation. It is said that the people who are flexible will have good attention and they are less affected by interfering influences and to be less dominated by internal needs and motives than or people at the constricted end.

How to improve?

Accumulation of experiences

Self-acceptance

Positive approach

Reading of live of great men

Open mind to receive ma listen

Improve your self-image and esteem

• Body Language

Body language is a type of non-verbal communication in which physical behavior, as opposed to words, are used to express or convey information. Such behavior includes facial expressions, body posture, gestures, eye movement, touch and the use of space.

They are the conscious and unconscious movements and postures by which attitudes and feelings are communicated.

Types: There are three main types of body language: Eye contact. Facial expression. Body position. Gesture and movement. Breathing.

How to read body language? (www.entrepreneur.com/slideshow/299722)

• Crossed arms and legs signal resistance to your ideas
• Real smiles crinkle the eyes
• Copying your body language is a good thing
• Standing up straight with your shoulders back is a power position; it appears to maximize the amount of space you fill. Slouching, on the other hand, is the result of collapsing your form; it appears to take up less space and projects less power. Maintaining good posture commands respect and promotes engagement, whether you’re a leader or not.
• Eyes that lie & Raised eyebrows signal discomfort.
• Exaggerated nodding signals anxiety about approval
• A clenched jaw signals stress

Ways to Improve Your Body Language

• Become aware of your normal & regular body language.
• practice in front of a mirror new bbody gesture.
• observe friends, role models, movie stars or other people you think has good body language.
• Don’t cross your arms or legs & Have eye contact, but don’t stare
• Don’t be afraid to take up some space
• nod once in a while to signal that you are listening. But don’t overdo it and peck like Woody Woodpecker.
• Keep your head up straight and your eyes towards the horizon.
• Use your hands to describe something or to add weight to a point you are trying to make. But don’t use them too much or it might become distracting.
• keep a positive, open and relaxed attitude. How you feel will come through in your body language and can make a major difference.
• Ethics Vs Etiquette

Ethics is a code for behaving in ways that are ethical, moral and justifiable. Etiquette is a set of rules for making things go more smoothly. There is no real relationship between them.

Ethics are the basic principles, standards or codes of behaviour considered to be correct and expected by the group to which an individual belongs. Sometimes a person’s personal morals clash with the ethics he is expected to practice at work. For example a criminal defense lawyer may find murder immoral but the ethics of his job demand that he defends a murderer to the best of his ability.

Etiquette is a code of practical behaviour that outlines expectations for social behaviour within a society, social class or group. Rules of etiquette include all aspects of social interaction including manners.

Benefits of Ethics and Etiquette (http://www.authenticityconsulting.com/) (McNamara. C., 2010)

• Ethics cultivate strong teamwork and productivity. Ethics aligns the employee’s behaviors with those top priority ethical values preferred by the organization. They react with strong motivation and performance.
• The policies of organization are legally sound and fine-tuned. There is a sense of safety and growth of employees taken care of.
• The ethical description helps in quality management, strategic planning and diversity management. Ethics programs promote a strong public image.

Sarah DeWitt Ince; 2017, https://bizfluent.com/list-6059639-benefits-code-ethics-.html) on Etics

• A code of ethics promotes an environment of respect based on integrity. When people know the code of ethics and follow it, this creates an atmosphere of trust, respect and confidence in the actions of each person involved in the organization or group.
• Responsibility is a third major benefit of a code of ethics. Responsibility is accountability and honesty, and holding yourself accountable promotes these good character traits in others who see them in you.
• Another benefit of a code of ethics is trust. Rules promote trust, especially when they are followed consistently. When there is a breach in the code of ethics, the problem is dealt with and employees can learn something from the violation.

Benefits of Etiquette

• Promotes cross-cultural awareness.
• Fosters dignity and respect among people.
• Provides positive impact on workplace code of conduct.
• Improves internal and external personal relations.
• Enhances the personality and social relations
• When your good manners are appreciated , you feel recognized and enhances the self-esteem.
• There is minimum social rejection and more happiness.
• Motivation:

Meaning: The term ‘motivation’ has been derived from the word ‘motive’. Motive may be defined as an inner state of our mind that activates and directs our behaviour. It makes us move to act. It is always internal to us and is externalized via our behaviour. Motivation is one’s willingness to exert efforts towards the accomplishment of one’s goal. Motives are generally directed towards goals. Behaviour is a series of activities to be undertaken. Behaviour is directed to achieve a goal. Behaviour is a series of activities to be undertaken. Behaviour is directed to achieve a goal. It is  a reason to behave in a particular way.

Definitions

• Red Luthans defined motivation as a “process that starts with a physiological or psychological deficiency or need that activates behaviour or a drive that is aimed at a goal or incentive”.
• According to Stephen P. Robbins “motivation is the willingness to exert high levels of efforts toward organisational goals, conditioned by the effort ability to satisfy some individual need”.
• Gray and Starke “motivation is the result of processes, internal or external to the individual, that arouse enthusiasm and persistence to pursue a certain course of action”.

There are two primary types of motivation… Intrinsic and Extrinsic Motivation. Extrinsic Motivation is geared toward external rewards and reinforces. Some examples of external rewards are money, praise, awards, etc. Intrinsic Motivation is geared toward internal rewards and reinforces. We can celebrate our success when we do well.

How to develop Motivation

• Think about the achievements in your life.
• Examine your strengths to understand what you can build on.
• Determine what other people see as your strengths and key capabilities.
• Set achievable goals for yourself, work to achieve them, and enjoy that achievement.
• Visualize some models and choose the right values from them
• Always start the day with freshness and enthusiasm to achieve something.
• Use the time fruitfully; listen to experienced people.
• Evaluate your day I the evening and make fresh resolutions for the next day.

• Emotions, Emotional Intelligence, and Managing Emotions
• Emotion is that mental condition in which a person becomes intensely excited.  There are so many disturbances in the mind of the person at the time of emotion that his whole behaviour is turned upside down”.
• Emotions implies a state to being stirred up or aroused in one way or another. Etymologically, the word emotion derived from the Latin word ‘mover’ which mean ‘to stirrup’ or ‘to excite’. Emotion can thus be understood as an agitated or excited state of our mind and body.
• Emotion is a mental condition when a person is intensively excited. People with good emotional health are aware of their thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. They have learned healthy ways to cope with the stress and problems that are a normal part of life. They feel good about themselves and have healthy relationships. One cannot get rid of negative emotions but he can channelize those emotions. Our emotional health is just as important as our physical health—and maybe more so. Most of us are neither happy nor unhappy all the time. Life is constantly changing, and our emotions change with it. Emotional balance is an essential element of wellness. Emotional balance doesn’t mean that we never experience a negative emotion, because these emotions are usually natural and normal. It means we balance the negative emotions with the positive, that we can be generally happy. Emotional balance starts with being aware of our emotions and understanding them.

Nature of Emotions:

1. Emotional experiences are associated with some instincts or biological drives:-

            Every emotional experience is associated with one or the other innate instinct. An emotion is aroused under the current or influence of an instinctive excitement.  

2. Emotions are the product of perception :

            Perception of a proper stimulus is needed to start an emotional experience. the organic changes within the body then, may intensify the emotional experience.

3. The core of an emotion is feeling :

            Actually every emotional experiences, whatever it may be, involves feelings – a sense of response aroused in the heart. Feelings and emotions  – both are affective experiences. There is only the difference of degrees. After perceiving a thing or a situation, feelings like pleasure or displeasure can be aroused. There may be some intensity or degree of strength in these feelings. When the feelings are so strong as to disturb the mind and excite an individual to act immediately, they are turned into emotions. Therefore, the urge to do or act is the most important emotional experience.

4. Emotions bring physiological changes :

            Every emotional experience involves many physical and physiological changes in the organism. Some of the changes which express themselves or overt behavior are easily observable.

Characteristics of Emotions:

• Emotions are prevalent in every living organism.
• They are present at all stages of development and can be aroused in young as well as in old.
• Emotions are individualistic, and they differ from person to person.
• Same emotion can be aroused by a number of different stimuli – objects or situations.    
• Emotion rise abruptly but subside slowly. An emotion once aroused tends to persist and leave behind, an emotional mood.
• Emotions have the quality of displacement. The anger aroused on account of one stimulus gets transferred to another situation. The anger resulting from being rebuked by the boss, gets transferred to beating the children at home.
• One emotion can give birth to a number of similar emotions.
• There is a negative correlation between the upsurge of emotions and intelligence. Reasoning and sharp intellect can check sudden upsurge of emotions. Also, under emotional experiences the reasoning and thinking powers are decreased.

Results of Negative Emotions

1.Negative Emotions causes physical breakdown: When negative emotions are not released and stored in the body, they result in physical pain like back pain, appetite disorder, chest pain, constipation, dry mouth, extreme tiredness, headaches, high blood pressure, insomnia, light headedness, palpitations, sexual problems, shortness of breath, stiff neck, sweating, upset stomach, weight gain or loss.

2. Negative emotions causes emotional breakdown: Stress always leads to emotional breakdown at some point in our lives.  The symptoms are hunger, hurried labour and exhaustion.

3. Negative emotions spoil social behaviour. We are no longer approachable to our fellow men.

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

What is Emotional Intelligence?

            In 1989, John Mayer and Peter Salovey first coined the phrase ‘emotional intelligence’ (EQ) to describe a person’s ability to understand one’s own emotions, the emotions of others and act appropriately based on these emotions.          The emergence of the EQ gave the explanation that the people with high IQs might not necessarily be successful and a theory that true intelligence is actually a combination of both EQ and IQ.

“Emotional intelligence refers to the capacity of recognizing our own feelings and those of others for motivating ourselves and for managing emotions well in ourselves and in our relationship” (Daniel Goleman,1998). 

IMPORTANCE OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

            Emotional intelligence allows us to think more creatively and use our emotions to solve problems. Daniel Goleman believes that emotional intelligence appears to be an important set of psychological abilities that relate to life’s success. Rather than a high IQ Goleman purports that it is far better to have a high E-IQ, emotional intelligence, if you want to be a valued and a productive member of our society.

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE CONSISTS OF FOUR CORE ABILITIES:

• Self-awareness: The ability to recognize your own emotions and how they affect your thoughts and behavior, know your strengths and weaknesses, and have self-confidence.
• Self-management: The ability to control impulsive feelings and behaviours, manage your emotions in healthy ways, take initiative, follow through on commitments, and adapt to changing circumstances.
• Social -awareness: The ability to understand the emotions, needs and concerns of others people, pickup on emotional cues, feel comfortable socially, and recognize the power dynamics in a group or organization.  
• Relationship management: The ability to develop and maintain good relationships, communicate clearly, inspire and influence others, work well in a team, and manage conflict.

DEVELOPING EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE THROUGH FIVE SKILLS

            Emotional intelligence consists of five skills:

• Emotional intelligence (EQ) skill 1:  The ability to quickly reduce stress.
• Emotional intelligence (EQ) skills 2: The ability to recognize and manage your emotions.
• Emotional intelligence (EQ) skills 3 : The ability to connect with others using nonverbal communication.
• Emotional intelligence (EQ) skills 4 : The ability to use humor and play to deal with challenges.
• Emotional intelligence (EQ) skills 5 : the ability to resolve conflicts positively and with confidence.

THE MEASUREMENT OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE: –

            For the measurement of one’s intelligence we make use of one or others intelligence test. Similarly, for the measurement of one’s emotional intelligence we can make use of such measures called emotional intelligence tests or scales. These tests and measures are not available easily or in sufficient quantity. A few references of such well-known measures of emotional intelligence may be cited:

• Mayer Emotional Intelligence Scale (MEIS)
• Mayer Salovey and Caruso Emotional Intelligence Test (MSCEIT)
• Bar-on Emotional Quotient Inventory (EQ –I)

EDUCATIONAL IMPLICATION

• Try to help yourself and the youngsters develop the ability to understand feelings in the right manners both in oneself and others.
• In all situations, self-awareness of the feelings and emotions are important. Try to teach the children and help yourself know what you feel at a particular time.
• For understanding others and their feelings develop the trait of a good listener.
• Try to learn the integration of thoughts and emotions, heart and mind for appropriate behavior at the right time.
• Teach the children and yourself that all emotions are healthy. Anger, fear, sadness, the recalled negative emotions are as healthy as peace, courage, and joy. The important thing is to learn the art of expressing one’s feelings or emotions in a desirable way at the desirable time in a desirable amount.
• Do not allow the emotions and feelings be obstacles in your path. Use them as a motivation agent or a force for achieving your goals.
• Teach yourself and your children the lessons of empathy.
• Learn the methods of proper development of social skills for better communication and inter-personal relationship with others. 
• Try to devote, more time and take efforts to develop not only the cognitive professional skills but also the affective skills for the development of emotional intelligence.

Managing Emotions:

1. Express your feelings in appropriate ways: If feelings of stress, sadness or anxiety are causing physical problems, keeping these feelings inside can make you feel worse. It’s okay to let our loved ones know when something is bothering us.

2. Live a balanced life: Try not to obsess the problems at work, school or home that lead to negative feelings. This does not mean that we have to pretend to be happy when we feel stressed, anxious or upset. It’s important to deal with these negative feelings. But try to focus the positive things in our lives too. Having a positive outlook can improve our quality of life and give our health a boost.

3. Develop resilience: People with resilience are able to cope with stress in a very healthy way. Resilience can be learned and strengthened with different strategies. These include having social support, keeping a positive view of you, accepting change, and keeping things in perspective.

4. Calm our mind and body: Relaxation methods, such as meditation, are useful ways to bring our emotions in to balance. Meditation is a form of guided thought. It can take many forms. For example we may do it by exercising, stretching, or breathing deeply.

5. Have a balanced diet: To have good emotional health, it’s important to take care of our body by having a regular routine for eating healthy meals, getting enough sleep, and exercising to relieve pent-up tension. Avoid over eating and should not consume alcohol and drugs.

6. Exercise regularly: Exercise releases pent up emotions and regulate free flow of energy. Yoga, gymnastics, dance are few examples.

7. Create our own recreation: Make time for things you enjoy: Creating our own recreation can be fruitful.  Similar to the bed- time stories or short naps, taking a spa (a relaxed bath with lighted, scented candles), taking a time- out can relax oneself.

8. Release our pent up feelings: Write down your feelings to release them. Try writing ten minutes a day for a month. This will give you enough time to spot some patterns in your emotions and to note if they correspond to any physical symptoms in your body. Write from the position of observer and record your emotions without judgement or editing. The next step is to identify the source of any anger, sadness, or other unhappiness so you can begin to make changes.

9. Have a sound sleep

10. Breathing brings balance: Use deep breathing and rest to restore your metabolic equilibrium. Sometimes during your busy day find time to close your eyes and take ten deep breaths. Try spending 10 to 15 minutes in meditative relaxation each day and watch your emotional elasticity expand!

10. Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT)

•          What is Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT)? Created by Albert Ellis, REBT is a form of the very popular cognitive behavior therapy and has been dominating approaches to psychological treatment since the 1950s.

•          In essence, Albert Ellis created it as a philosophy of living – its foundation is the belief that it is not the events in our lives that cause our emotions, rather it is our beliefs that cause us to experience emotions such as anger, depression, and anxiety.

•          Individuals are blaming outward events on their negative emotions instead of their interpretation of the events. It is a mode to consider and change our irrational beliefs and has shown to have a favorable effect on reducing emotional pain.

REBT’s ABC Theory: The Diagnostic Step

Ellis proposed a model, named as ‘ABC Model’ which has the following elements:

A – Activating Event: an event that happens in the environment

B – Beliefs: the belief you have about the event that happened

C – Consequence: the emotional response to your belief

This model was developed to educate others of how beliefs are the cause of emotional and behavioral responses, and not that events cause our emotional reactions. For example,

When you go out of your house, a cat runs from left to right in the street in front of you. OR A lady goes with empty pot in the street in the opposite direction of your way. It is an activating event(A).

Now you think, since the cat crosses your way, or there is an empty pot in the hands of lady, you have a belief that your intention or aim with which you travel will not be realized. This is belief(B).

Therefore, you feel angry / anxious / restless and feel saddened and depressed. This is Consequence (C).

Here again, the ABC model is saying that it is not the event (A) that causes the emotional response, rather, it’s the belief (B) about the event that causes the emotional response (C). Because people interpret and respond differently to events, we don’t always have the same emotional response (C) to a given event.

The Three Musts of Irrational Thinking

The beliefs end up in negative emotions, according to Albert Ellis, and a variation of three common irrational beliefs, Coined as the ‘Three Basic Musts’.

They are:

Must 01: I must do well and win others’ approval or else I am no good.

Must 02: Others must treat me fairly and kindly and in the same way I want them to treat me. If they do not treat me this way, they are not good people and deserve to be punished.

Must 03: I must always get what I want, when I want it. Likewise, I must never get what I don’t want. If I don’t get what I want, I’m miserable.

If we don’t realize “Must 1,” we likely feel anxious, depressed, shameful, or guilty. If we are not treated fairly, as per “Must 2,” we usually feel angry and may act violently. If we don’t get what we want, per “Must 3,” we may feel self-pity and procrastinate.

What we have to do?

D – Dispute the irrational belief

E – Effective or rational or positive thoughts to be created

The second phase of REBT’s healing process is the dispute or challenge phase. That is, in order to act and feel differently, we must dispute or challenge the irrational beliefs we experience. Essentially, what we are questioning is our irrational beliefs: Who says if I don’t win someone’s approval I’m no good? Where is it written in the rule books that a boss always acts professionally and treats others fairly? Why do I have to be absolutely miserable if I don’t get something I want? 

Secondly, once we can work through the dispute or challenge of their irrational thoughts, we can move toward how to engage in more effective thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, as an effective new philosophy on life.

Three Major Insights of REBT

According to Albert Ellis, the following are the three major insights of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy:

01.       When individuals understand and accept that the main cause of emotional reactions are their beliefs about an event instead of the event itself. That is, we don’t just get upset from an event. We upset ourselves because of our irrational beliefs.

02.       When people acquire irrational beliefs, if they do not deal with them, they “hold” onto the beliefs and it’s what continues to upset them in the present. That is, these individuals still wholeheartedly believe in the “three musts.”

03.       Ellis made it clear that understanding these insights does not make us inherently “better.” That is, understanding these beliefs and having insights into how they affect our emotional responses is not enough to “cure” us. In reality, the best way to get better and stay better through REBT is to continually work on recognizing our irrational beliefs, disputing them, changing our irrational “musts,” and transforming negative emotions into more positive ones. Simply put, the only way to get better is through the hard work of changing our beliefs. It takes time and practice.

Acceptance

During Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy, individuals are taught about emotional health. If you are emotionally healthy, you experience an acceptance of reality, whether that reality is pleasant or unpleasant. Psychotherapists utilizing REBT teach their patients three forms of acceptance:

•          Unconditional Self-Acceptance – I have flaws – I have my bad points and my good points, but that does not make me any less worthy than another person.

•          Unconditional Other-Acceptance – Sometimes people won’t treat me fairly – there is no reason why they have to treat me fairly. Though some may not treat me fairly, they are no less worthy than any other person.

•          Unconditional Life-Acceptance – Life is not always going to go the way I want. There’s no reason why it must go the way I want.

The Basic Steps in Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy

In order to better understand how REBT looks, it is important to take a closer look at how the therapeutic processes itself.

1. Identify the Underlying Irrational Thought Patterns and Beliefs

The very first step in the process is to identify the irrational thoughts, feelings, and beliefs that lead to psychological distress. In many cases, these irrational beliefs are reflected as absolutes, as in “I must,” “I should,” or “I cannot.” According to Ellis, some of the most common irrational beliefs include:

Feeling excessively upset over other people’s mistakes or misconduct.

Believing that you must be 100 percent competent and successful in everything to be valued and worthwhile.

Believing that you will be happier if you avoid life’s difficulties or challenges.

Feeling that you have no control over your own happiness; that your contentment and joy are dependent upon external forces.

By holding such unyielding beliefs, it becomes almost impossible to respond to situations in a psychologically healthy way. Possessing such rigid expectations of ourselves and others only leads to disappointment, recrimination, regret, and anxiety.

2. Challenge the Irrational Beliefs

Once these underlying feelings have been identified, the next step is to challenge these mistaken beliefs. In order to do this, the therapist must dispute these beliefs using very direct and even confrontational methods. Ellis suggested that rather than simply being warm and supportive, the therapist needs to be blunt, honest, and logical in order to push people toward changing their thoughts and behaviors.

3. Gain Insight and Recognize Irrational Thought Patterns

As you might imagine, REBT can be a daunting process for the client. Facing irrational thought patterns can be difficult, especially because accepting these beliefs as unhealthy is far from easy. Once the client has identified the problematic beliefs, the process of actually changing these thoughts can be even more challenging.

While it is perfectly normal to feel upset when you make a mistake, the goal of rational emotive behavior therapy is to help people respond rationally to such situations. When faced with this type of situation in the future, the emotionally healthy response would be to realize that while it would be wonderful to be perfect and never make mistakes, it is not realistic to expect success in every endeavor. You made a mistake, but that’s okay because everyone makes mistakes sometimes. All you can do is learn from the situation and move on.

It is also important to recognize that while rational emotive behavior therapy utilizes cognitive strategies to help clients, it also focuses on emotions and behaviors as well. In addition to identifying and disputing irrational beliefs, therapists and clients also work together to target the emotional responses that accompany problematic thoughts. Clients are also encouraged to change unwanted behaviors using such things as meditation, journaling, and guided imagery.

If you undergo REBT, what can you expect? You will work through a variety of problems with your therapist and establish a number of goals of your therapy. The first step is understanding that a problem exists and having the willingness to change. REBT works to help the client challenge, dispute, and question negative emotions, behaviors, and thoughts. Once this is uncovered, the therapist will focus on helping you transform your more irrational beliefs into rational and self-constructive thoughts. It’s not an easy process. You can expect to continually work on these techniques – practice, practice, practice. As Ellis points out in his third insight – it’s not enough to recognize an irrational belief, we must rigorously dispute these again and again and refocus on more positive, constructive beliefs. Change is not going to happen overnight. So, REBT is an effective form of therapy absolutely.(Arnold Lieber, MD, www.psycom.net,  Feb 14, 2018).

1. Howard Gardner’s Multiple Intelligences

Linguistic:

• sensitivity to the meaning and order of words; Well-developed verbal skills and sensitivity to the sounds, meanings and rhythms of words
• Linguistic: write stories and essays; tell jokes, stories, puns; use an expanded vocabulary; play word games; use words to create images. Skills – Listening, speaking, writing, teaching
• Encourage the use of outrageous words and palindromes; involve students in debates and making oral presentations; show how poetry can convey emotion.
• Careers – Poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, translator

Logical-mathematical:

• The ability to handle chains of reasoning and to recognize patterns and order.
• Logical-mathematical: work with numbers, figure things out, analyze situations; see how things work; exhibit precision in problem solving; work in situations with clear answers.
• Use Venn diagrams to compare and contrast; use graphs, tables, and time lines; have students demonstrate using concrete objects; ask students to show sequences.
• Ability to think conceptually and abstractly, and capacity to discern logical or numerical patterns; Skills – Problem solving (logical & math), performing experiments
• Careers – Scientists, engineers, accountants, mathematicians

Musical:

• sensitivity to pitch, melody, rhythm and tone
• Musical: listen to and play music; match feelings to music and rhythm; sing and hum; create and replicate tunes
• Rewrite song lyrics to teach a concept; encourage students to add music to plays; create musical mnemonics; teach history and geography through the music of the period and place. Ability to produce and appreciate rhythm, pitch and timber; Skills – Singing, playing instruments, composing music
• Careers – Musician, disc jockey, singer, composer

Bodily-kinesthetic:

• the ability to use the body skillfully and handle objects adroitly
• Bodily-kinesthetic: play sports and be physically active; engage in risk taking with their bodies; dance, act, and mime; engage in crafts and play with mechanical objects; Ability to control one’s body movements and to handle objects skillfully
• Skills – Dancing, sports, hands on experiments, acting
• provide tactile and movement activities; offer role-playing and acting opportunities; allow students to move while working; use sewing, model making and other activities that require fine motor skills.
• Careers – Athlete, PE teacher, dancer, actor, firefighter

Visual-Spatial:

• The ability to perceive the world accurately and to recreate or transform aspects of that world. Capacity to think in images and pictures, to visualize accurately and abstractly
• Skills – puzzle building, painting, constructing, fixing, designing objects
• Careers – Sculptor, artist, inventor, architect, mechanic, engineer
• Spatial: doodle, paint or draw; create three-dimensional representations; look at and create maps and diagrams; take things apart and put them back together
• Draw maps and mazes; lead visualization activities; teach mind mapping; provide opportunities to show understanding through drawing; have students design buildings, clothing, scenery to depict an event or period.

Naturalist:

• the ability to recognize and classify the numerous species, the flora and fauna, of an environment; Skills – Recognize one’s connection to nature, apply science theory to life
• Naturalist: spend time outdoors; collect plants, rocks, animals; listen to outdoor sounds; notice relationships in nature; classify flora and fauna
• Use outdoors as a classroom; have plants and animals in the classroom for which students are responsible; conduct hands-on experiments; create a nature area on the playground; Ability to recognize and categorize plants, animals and other objects in nature
• Careers – Scientist, naturalist, landscape architect

Interpersonal:

• the ability to understand people and relationships; Capacity to detect and respond appropriately to the moods, motivations and desires of others
• Skills – Seeing from other perspectives, empathy, counseling, co-operating
• Interpersonal: enjoy many friends; lead, share, mediate; build consensus; help others with their problems; be an effective team member
• Use cooperative learning; assign group projects; give students opportunities for peer teaching; brainstorm solutions; create situations in which students observe and give feedback to others.
• Careers – Counselor, salesperson, politician, business person, minister

Intrapersonal:

• access to one’s emotional life as a means to understand oneself and others; Capacity to be self-aware and in tune with inner feelings, values, beliefs and thinking processes
• Skills – Recognize one’s S/W, reflective, aware of inner feelings
• Intrapersonal: Reflect; control own feelings and moods; pursue personal interests and set individual agendas; learn through observing and listening; use metacognitive skills
• allow students to work at their own pace; create quite areas within the room or allow students to go outside to work alone; help students set and monitor personal goals; provide opportunities for students to give and receive feedback; involve students in writing journals.
• Careers – Researchers, theorists, philosophers

Existential:

• Sensitivity and capacity to tackle deep questions about human existence, such as the meaning of life, why do we die, and how did we get here
• Skills – Reflective and deep thinking, design abstract theories.
• Sensitivity and capacity to tackle deep questions about human existence, such as the meaning of life, why do we die, and how did we get here
• Skills – Reflective and deep thinking, design abstract theories
• Careers – Scientist, philosopher, theologian

(Adapted from Succeeding with Multiple Intelligences, by the New City School faculty, 1996.)

The 9 Intelligences of MI Theory: Intelligence , Skills and Career Preferences : 

1.  Verbal-Linguistic Intelligence

Well-developed verbal skills and sensitivity to the sounds, meanings and rhythms of words

Skills – Listening, speaking, writing, teaching.

Careers – Poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, translator

2.  Mathematical-Logical Intelligence

Ability to think conceptually and abstractly, and capacity to discern logical or numerical patterns

Skills – Problem solving (logical & math), performing experiments

Careers – Scientists, engineers, accountants, mathematicians

3.  Musical Intelligence

Ability to produce and appreciate rhythm, pitch and timber

Skills – Singing, playing instruments, composing music

Careers – Musician, disc jockey, singer, composer

4.  Visual-Spatial Intelligence

Capacity to think in images and pictures, to visualize accurately and abstractly

Skills – puzzle building, painting, constructing, fixing, designing objects

Careers – Sculptor, artist, inventor, architect, mechanic, engineer

5.  Bodily-Kinesthetic Intelligence

Ability to control one’s body movements and to handle objects skillfully

Skills – Dancing, sports, hands on experiments, acting

Careers – Athlete, PE teacher, dancer, actor, firefighter

6.  Interpersonal Intelligence

Capacity to detect and respond appropriately to the moods, motivations and desires of others

Skills – Seeing from other perspectives, empathy, counseling, co-operating

Careers – Counselor, salesperson, politician, business person, minister

7.  Intrapersonal Intelligence

Capacity to be self-aware and in tune with inner feelings, values, beliefs and thinking processes

Skills – Recognize one’s S/W, reflective, aware of inner feelings

Careers – Researchers, theorists, philosophers

8.  Naturalist Intelligence

Ability to recognize and categorize plants, animals and other objects in nature

Skills – Recognize one’s connection to nature, apply science theory to life

Careers – Scientist, naturalist, landscape architect

9.  Existential Intelligence

Sensitivity and capacity to tackle deep questions about human existence, such as the meaning of life, why do we die, and how did we get here

Skills – Reflective and deep thinking, design abstract theories

Careers – Scientist, philosopher, theologian

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The Basic Steps in Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy

In order to better understand how REBT looks, it is important to take a closer look at how the therapeutic process itself.

1. Identify the Underlying Irrational Thought Patterns and Beliefs

The very first step in the process is to identify the irrational thoughts, feelings, and beliefs that lead to psychological distress. In many cases, these irrational beliefs are reflected as absolutes, as in “I must,” “I should,” or “I cannot.” According to Ellis, some of the most common irrational beliefs include:

Feeling excessively upset over other people’s mistakes or misconduct.

Believing that you must be 100 percent competent and successful in everything to be valued and worthwhile.

Believing that you will be happier if you avoid life’s difficulties or challenges.

Feeling that you have no control over your own happiness; that your contentment and joy are dependent upon external forces.

By holding such unyielding beliefs, it becomes almost impossible to respond to situations in a psychologically healthy way. Possessing such rigid expectations of ourselves and others only leads to disappointment, recrimination, regret, and anxiety.

2. Challenge the Irrational Beliefs

Once these underlying feelings have been identified, the next step is to challenge these mistaken beliefs. In order to do this, the therapist must dispute these beliefs using very direct and even confrontational methods. Ellis suggested that rather than simply being warm and supportive, the therapist needs to be blunt, honest, and logical in order to push people toward changing their thoughts and behaviors.

3. Gain Insight and Recognize Irrational Thought Patterns

As you might imagine, REBT can be a daunting process for the client. Facing irrational thought patterns can be difficult, especially because accepting these beliefs as unhealthy is far from easy. Once the client has identified the problematic beliefs, the process of actually changing these thoughts can be even more challenging.

While it is perfectly normal to feel upset when you make a mistake, the goal of rational emotive behavior therapy is to help people respond rationally to such situations. When faced with this type of situation in the future, the emotionally healthy response would be to realize that while it would be wonderful to be perfect and never make mistakes, it is not realistic to expect success in every endeavor. You made a mistake, but that’s okay because everyone makes mistakes sometimes. All you can do is learn from the situation and move on.

It is also important to recognize that while rational emotive behavior therapy utilizes cognitive strategies to help clients, it also focuses on emotions and behaviors as well. In addition to identifying and disputing irrational beliefs, therapists and clients also work together to target the emotional responses that accompany problematic thoughts. Clients are also encouraged to change unwanted behaviors using such things as meditation, journaling, and guided imagery.

A Word from Verywell

REBT can be effective in the treatment of a range of psychological disorders including anxiety and phobias as well as specific behaviors such as severe shyness and excessive approval-seeking.

Sources:

Ellis, A. Reason and emotion in psychotherapy. New York: Carol; 1991.

Ellis, A. Reflections on Rational-Emotive Therapy. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 61, 199-201; 1993.

Ellis, A & Dryden, W. The Practice of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy. New York: Springer Publishing Company, Inc.; 1997.

1. Disorder, Mental Disorder, Mental Health  and Mental Hygiene

Disorder: It is a state of confusion; not being in order; absence of systematic functioning.

Mental illness, also called mental (health) disorders, refers to a mental health conditions — disorders that affect your mood, thinking and behavior. Examples: depression, anxiety disorders, schizophrenia (A disorder that affects a person’s ability to think, feel and behave clearly).

They may be occasional or long-lasting (chronic). They can affect your ability to relate to others and function each day.

What causes mental disorders? (https://medlineplus.gov/mentaldisorders.html, Retrieved on 14.04.2020)

There is no single cause for mental illness. A number of factors can contribute to risk for mental illness, such as

• Your genes and family history
• Your life experiences, such as stress or a history of abuse, especially if they happen in childhood
• Biological factors such as chemical imbalances in the brain
• A traumatic brain injury
• A mother’s exposure to viruses or toxic chemicals while pregnant
• Use of alcohol or recreational drugs
• Having a serious medical condition like cancer
• Having few friends, and feeling lonely or isolated.
• Mental disorders are not caused by character flaws. They have nothing to do with being lazy or weak.

Mental Health and Mental Hygiene:

 Mental Hygiene: MHy is defined as “a science dealing with the preservation and promotion of mental health as well as prevention and treatment of mental illness or abnormalities.”

Mental Health: MHe refers to our cognitive, behavioral, and emotional wellbeing – it is all about how we think, feel, and behave. … Mental health also includes a person’s ability to enjoy life – to attain a balance between life activities and efforts to achieve psychological resilience (www.britannica.com › science › mental-hygiene).It is the absence of mental illness.

WHO says:  Mental health is a state of well-being in which an individual realizes his or her own abilities, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively, and is able to make a contribution to his or her community.”  https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/154543#definition, Retrieved on 14.04.2020.